Where's the Limit? Work and Stress II

For a change in programme this week, I want to talk about my experience at work in the past weeks, how that's affected me and what I've done to help myself.

It's been a very stressful two weeks, loaded with emotionally charged conversations at work with clients and 3rd parties who are in themselves stressed and not behaving their best. Behaviours that meet the criteria on many indirect bullying checklists were seen and met many times, stand-offs were had and resolved unsatisfactorily. The upshot was that I had to work very late every night last week and then also work on my day off, Friday.

I take that day off to keep my health in check and make sure I don't overload myself and work more than my physical limit for keeping sane and healthy. So what made me fold and sacrifice this personal defence and cross the boundary? Pressure to succeed and support my colleagues was a large factor. I didn't want to be the one who let the team down by not showing up; that would not be conducive to good relations in my team and would get me a negative reputation. There was also the pressure to deliver and the expectations of the client and 3rd parties in this project. Failing to hit this deadline would make the rest of the project much worse to conduct, as there would be mistrust and dislike from the other people involved.

In the end I worked at it and delivered a good job of work, however, it left me stressed, anxious and exhausted. I am particularly vulnerable to emotionally laden stressors, and am aware of this. In normal work situations, these don't arise, so I am usually fine. However, when I come across them, it rakes over the coals and memories of previous damaging situations are rekindled and live to do damage again.

So that leaves me asking what I can do to better protect myself and stick to the boundaries I set up. Hopefully, last week was an exception, but I need to be extra careful. I cannot afford to keep working late nights, and must strongly defend my decision not to do so. I must also keep Fridays clear and untouchable. But I think the most effective thing I did last week and will continue to do this week was to speak up to my own bosses about how the situation was unacceptable and how I do not want to cross my own boundaries. Thankfully, they were very supportive, as that's the kind of place in which I work. still, there is always a tension and a risk that saying no and sticking up for yourself may have negative consequences.

And it may well. Here we have to make the decision of what is more important to us: having a job that damages you or keeping your health prioritised even if it compromises something at work. It might not mean losing your job, but it may create some form of perception or reputation. However, a job is a job - they come and go, and you can always find another. Your health cannot be so easily swapped.

I strongly feel I have to keep my health as a priority in the face of it all, and stand strong with my principles. ADHD doesn't make things easy, so we should be taking a stance that gives us the most support and care that we can afford.